p*ssing on a hydrant
It is a beautiful, clear, dry and cool morning. I have a relatively busy day ahead of me, including a flight south for the weekend. And there is a real asshole on this train.
Allow me to explain. Few things strike me as more pitiful than an older man who still has a chip on his shoulder. You know, one who’s actions indicate that his dick is so small that he’s still playing catch-up with every other man. He’s the guy who puffs out his chest around other males and talks really loud while giving guys who are better looking and/or more successful than he is the evil eye. When he encounters such a man on the train, he makes sure he takes up the entire isle and refuses to make room for the better looking guy (that’s me) when he tries to pass.
I suppose it’s sophisticated form of “my dick is bigger than yours” in which case he is, of freaking course, totally bluffing. As it was, I just walked right through him as if he didn’t exist. I suppose it's a measure of my own angst that I didn't gracefully and humbly defer to his overweening rudeness. But at least my angst, whatever its root, isn't about my masculinity.
Similar to the other day when a moose of a bodybuilder pulled the same stunt with me on Wall Street. He was dressed in such a way as to show off every steroid-filled ripple. In other words, he displayed a total lack of class. And as we passed on the sidewalk, he went out of his way to plow his shoulder into mine. The trouble for him is that I weight about 25 pounds more than I look like I do, so imagine his surprise when his little muscle-bound shoulder-check failed to slow my momentum or affect my course. I know his bones were jarred because mine were.
It’s like this. You might encounter hundreds of people at close proximity every day in the city. Mostly we find a way to coexist with dignity. Every once in a while some asshole with a Napoleon complex goes out of his way to piss on someone he thinks is littler than he is. But alas, bigness isn’t always visible, poor morons. God bless them, too.
Allow me to explain. Few things strike me as more pitiful than an older man who still has a chip on his shoulder. You know, one who’s actions indicate that his dick is so small that he’s still playing catch-up with every other man. He’s the guy who puffs out his chest around other males and talks really loud while giving guys who are better looking and/or more successful than he is the evil eye. When he encounters such a man on the train, he makes sure he takes up the entire isle and refuses to make room for the better looking guy (that’s me) when he tries to pass.
I suppose it’s sophisticated form of “my dick is bigger than yours” in which case he is, of freaking course, totally bluffing. As it was, I just walked right through him as if he didn’t exist. I suppose it's a measure of my own angst that I didn't gracefully and humbly defer to his overweening rudeness. But at least my angst, whatever its root, isn't about my masculinity.
Similar to the other day when a moose of a bodybuilder pulled the same stunt with me on Wall Street. He was dressed in such a way as to show off every steroid-filled ripple. In other words, he displayed a total lack of class. And as we passed on the sidewalk, he went out of his way to plow his shoulder into mine. The trouble for him is that I weight about 25 pounds more than I look like I do, so imagine his surprise when his little muscle-bound shoulder-check failed to slow my momentum or affect my course. I know his bones were jarred because mine were.
It’s like this. You might encounter hundreds of people at close proximity every day in the city. Mostly we find a way to coexist with dignity. Every once in a while some asshole with a Napoleon complex goes out of his way to piss on someone he thinks is littler than he is. But alas, bigness isn’t always visible, poor morons. God bless them, too.
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